by Charles S. Oaxpatu
Are you looking forward to noon on Wednesday, January 20, 2021? You can bet your best blue velvet chair that I am! Here are a few related thoughts that have been swirling around in my mind:
(1) Although possibly wrong, I have pretty much concluded that no domestic or foreign terrorism will be associated with the inaugural ceremonies in Washington, D.C. over the next three days. The city is guarded and fortified enough to deter any significant armed attack by terrorist elements. The Trumpite, racist, fascist, and southern redneck forces who attacked the U.S. Capitol Building a while back are too drunk on their perceived victory and are taking the next three days off to fully bathe in their success and to completely savor it. As recently reported by the news media, they also seem to be using this time to do recruiting and fundraising, based on their sense of success. I suspect they will continue in this happy, self-serving mode for the immediately foreseeable future.
(2) I recall a letter a local Republican wrote to the editor at the Knoxville News-Sentinel at the end of President Obama’s second term. It was a rather euphemistic letter where the author emphasized over and over that the American people must never again elect a president——and I quote——“like this.” By the end of the letter, it was quite clear to me that the term “like this” was a substitute for the n-word and other disgusting racial epithets.
A few American historians have noted that presidents first elected in years ending with a zero tend to get assassinated. For example, Abraham Lincoln was elected in 1860, James Garfield was elected in 1880, John F. Kennedy was elected in 1960. Unfortunately, Joe Biden was elected in 2020, but I do not think he will be assassinated by the various clown forces that attacked the U.S. Capitol Building. Why? Killing poor old Joe would shove a woman “like this” straight into the presidency——a fate worse than their own deaths to assorted Trumpites. Therefore, I think Joe Biden will stay safe until he eventually dies from natural causes.
(3) Many Christian Fundamentalists and Conservative Evangelicals remain unable to accept the inevitable fact that Joe Biden will become President of the United States on Wednesday of this week. After all, according to the fundies, the oil-filled hand of God himself——the God of Abraham, Issac, and Jacob in the Holy Bible——personally selected Donald J. Trump to be President of the United States in 2016. Trump was The Anointed One of the Lord. He was the Chosen One to save the fundie belief system and save the fundie subculture as the model for all other Americans to follow, whether they like it or not. Numerous fundie preachers, prophets, and evangelists bought into the “Trump is the new King Cyrus” nonsense pushed by Evangelist Lance Walnau, and far, far, far more of the rank and file fundie pewsitters bought into it as part of the fundamentalist cult of spiritual certainty.
Therefore, as the fundie thinking goes, how could The Anointed One of the Lord fail to be re-elected to a second term as president in 2020? If God was with Trump, then who could have been successful against him? His re-election was an obvious certainty, and if he appeared to lose the election at some point, then the election must have been illegally rigged in favor of Joe Biden.
Now, here is the really unusual and fun part of this element of fundie faith. (I was reading about this two days ago.) Some fundie leaders and their fundie followers believe with great certainty that God is going to suddenly and personally intervene in human affairs with a bonafide miracle (like raising Lazarus from the dead) between right now and noon on Wednesday. The full and exact nature of this miracle is a mystery, but they feel certain it is coming. By the Holy hand of God, Joe Biden and Kamala Harris will not take the Presidential Oath of Office and Vice Presidential Oath of Office when the clock strikes noon. Instead, God will miraculously stand Donald J. Trump and Mike Pence in their places on the inauguration platform and Chief Justice John Roberts and Justice Sonia Sotomayor will swear them in for second terms as President of the United States and Vice President of the United States. I suppose these fundies believe, when that miraculous moment comes, the whole world will then know President Trump truly is The Anointed One of the Lord. Then everyone on planet Earth will know that all of the fundie bullshit and massive fundie ignorance spread around since 1920 really are the one, only, and “true” Christian faith in all the world.
My position has been and continues to be that the God of Abraham, Issac, and Jacob is highly unlikely to have designated a wealthy, conscienceless, uncompassionate, uncaring, unloving, lying, grifting, sociopathic coprolite, with the future deaths of 400,000 people on his hands, as The Anointed One of the Lord. Sure. God could have done that if he wanted to do so, and he could work some sort of miracle on the inaugural platform on Wednesday. However, I think such a miracle——where Trump is concerned——would be way out of character with the authentic Jesus of Nazareth. That is my way of saying that this sudden miracle is not going to happen, and when it does not, I hope the fundies will finally understand that Trump was not a gift to them from God, but rather, a gift to them from Satan. The fundies sacrificed the love and ways of Jesus to feast upon that unholy gift——displaying the fact that they want power in this world rather than Jesus himself. They want the kind of power Satan offered to Jesus in the desert wilderness——an offer Jesus rejected——but an offer the fundies took with great zest and relish in 2016.
Once again, I am predicting that no such sudden miracle will occur at noon on Wednesday, and if the fundies are smart, they will then realize that Donald J. Trump is not now and never has been The Anointed One of the Lord. Furthermore, they will realize that the Lord of Darkness (Satan, negativism, entropy, etc.) deceived and blinded their fundie leaders (and them) to the deeply evil nature of Trump and seduced them into craving the power of this world rather than the simple, loving ways of Jesus. Something like a version of the famous movie scene below may be what actually happened in the spiritual realm to Lord Trumpauron and his snarling fundie army across the past four years until they were finally and thoroughly defeated by Jesus, Biden, and Harris in Georgia. And yes——I bet you C.S. Lewis and J.R.R. Tolkien discussed these book scenes and their spiritual meanings in depth long ago over lunch and a brew at the Inklings Pub, near The University of Oxford, to get it just right:
(4) President Trump’s lawyers have apparently told him that he cannot use his pardon power to pardon himself from alleged federal crimes. The key basis is the old English Common Law idea that a person cannot function as the judge over their own alleged crimes in any sort of legal proceeding. Last night, the folks at CNN and MSNBC talked as if Trump has already decided not to pardon himself.
Pardoning one’s self while serving as President of the United States is really unexplored legal territory at the level of the federal judiciary. Trump is old and afraid of going to prison for the rest of his life. When a person is in that sort of situation, all possibly useful cards are left on the table. That being the case, I am going to predict Trump will indeed issue a written presidential pardon for himself——just on the outside possibility that it might eventually pass muster and actually work. He will also issue blank check pardons for certain members of his family, such as Ivanka Kushner, Donald Trump, Jr., and Jared Kushner.
I am wondering whether Trump might issue a couple of “Crazy Ivan” pardons in a crude attempt to look magnanimous and forgiving. For example, might he issue a let-bygones-be-bygones pardon to Michael Cohen in hopes of regaining his loyalty and shutting his mouth before the Attorney General of New York comes calling with an arrest warrant for Trump? Beats me? Trump world is a crazy place!
(5) The option for Trump to declare martial law is probably off the table now. The seditious insurrection failed, and declaring martial law would gain him nothing but laughter and a quick third impeachment. All the face cards in President Trump’s deck are gone, and Mike Pence appears to be unofficially running the country in his place.
(6) Reportedly, again from CNN and MSNBC, President Trump will not be attending the inauguration ceremony on Wednesday, and he wants to avoid leaving the Washington, D.C. area on Air Force 1. Instead, he would like to fly out on a privately owned airplane. I suppose this is a matter of being in full control of his own destiny. He also says that he wants to leave the D.C. area while he is still President of the United States. The idea is to avoid leaving as a person who has lost the presidency while still there.
President Trump has supposedly asked the U.S. Department of Defense to throw him a grand, pomp-and-circumstance going away ceremony at Andrews Air Force Base on Wednesday morning. Will that actually happen? Word of his desire fanned out into official Washington, D.C. over the weekend and was met with scorn from assorted government officials who view him as the only American president to ever lead a coup d’etat insurrection against the U.S. Government on Capitol Hill and the only president to ever get his inner peaches removed——twice. If I were a betting man, my best bet would be that his desire does not get totally snubbed. He may not get the grand send-off he most desires, but because he is still President of the United States at the time of his departure, the military will give him a simple, dignified “bye-bye” ceremony.
(7) Before leaving, I suspect President Trump will look back across his last four years in office and ask himself how presidential matters could have gone so badly for him when he is such a great guy and an obvious genius (strictly his opinion of himself). If he were to ask me about that, my response would be simple:
Donald. If the heart, soul, and personality that reside inside your cranium had been the sane, balanced, compassionate heart, soul, and personality of a highly intelligent person, some person other than Donald J. Trump, you would still be sitting in the White House this morning. Your heart, soul, and personality are your own worst enemies—and they lead you into tragedy. You proved it to a voting majority of the American people for four straight years. I know you do not understand that, but nothing in your personal and emotional life will ever change for the better until the day you do. In my honest opinion, you need serious, long-term psychotherapy, Donald. Take it seriously, identify the best Ph.D psychotherapist in the Palm Beach area of Florida, and begin working on yourself along with that person. Stick with it for a few years, and in the end, you will never be sorry you did it.
(8) No one has mentioned it so far, but it is probably coming. I will be the first to admit that I know very little about international law and what formally constitutes “crimes against humanity.” It will not be me, but I strongly suspect some American citizen or a group of American citizens is already combing the fine print of international law to determine whether Donald J. Trump can be charged with alleged crimes against humanity for willfully negligent behavior in office that——arguably——led to the unnecessary deaths of 500,000+ American citizens from COVID-19.
(9) President Trump deserves significant praise for COVID-19 vaccine development under Operation Warp Speed. He deserves significant scorn for failure to develop and implement a workable and efficient federal plan to inject American arms with that vaccine. COVID-19 testing was an utter disaster by virtue of willful neglect.
(10) Finally, we have a 1980s musical “Dear John” letter to President Donald John Trump for a presidential job very badly done. We have no doubt whatsoever that future professors of American history will record Donald J. Trump——for generations to come——as the worst president in American history: