by Charles S. Oaxpatu
Christmas Gift Ideas for Right-Wing, Extremist Nutjobs (Just Joking—LOL)
An abominable level of personal ignorance exists in many Christian Fundamentalists, Conservative Evangelicals, and other right-wing, extremist nutjobs in the United States today. I know from personal experience that such ignorance is widespread throughout my native American South. Let me give you just one important example of this abominable ignorance.
Among the right-wing, extremist nutjobs in the American South and some other parts of our nation, followers of the Islamic religion are referred to pejoratively as ragheads. Why? The male adherents of Islam often wear turbans or other similar head wrappings. As it turns out, some other Americans wear turbans, principally male adherents of a religion common in India. These Americans are the male adherents of the Sikh religion. Their religion has nothing to do with Islam, Mohammed, or terrorism.
Sadly, because sikhs wear turbans and because right-wing, extremist nutjobs are abominably ignorant, a few American sikhs have been severely injured or killed by mistake. Their right-wing, extremist, nutjob attackers just assumed they were adherents of Islam because they were wearing turbans. When the local sheriff arrested them for criminal assault or murder, they were no doubt shocked to learn that they had hurt or killed the wrong type of person. Just imagine—all the personal tears and all those years in prison because of abominable personal ignorance and the mistaken identity that flowed from it.
The average American thinks of terrorism in more or less strictly Islamic terms. If American terrorism has occurred or may occur, then just naturally, it must be radical Islamic terrorism. That is not true——-profoundly not true. Most domestic terrorism by far in the United States is committed by white people——right-wing, extremist, nutjob white people. If you doubt me, please give the following news article and chart a close read:
Now, let us take one more look at the abominable ignorance in the United States. Based on my own personal experience with numerous individuals, the American people are abominably ignorant when it comes to American history, geography, and civics—-particularly the rural and small town people my poor dad referred to as the “common man” or the “working man.” Sure, they attended public schools (K-12), and their teachers supposedly taught them many things about the history, geography, and civics of our nation. However, in all too many cases, it seems to have gone in one ear, bypassing the brain, and right out the other ear. If you doubt me, I dare you——no——I triple-dog dare you to walk up to 10 randomly selected people on a street in your area and ask them to point to Iowa on an unlabeled map of the United States.
This brings us to the coming holiday season and the certain impeachment of President Donald J. Trump. If you have been reading the articles on the Flee from Christian Fundamentalism blog, you already know that ousting a sitting President of the United States is, constitutionally speaking, a two-part process. First, the U.S. House of Representatives functions in a manner similar to that of a grand jury and votes on articles of impeachment against the president—the same as preferring charges. This process is called impeachment. Impeachment does not remove a president from office. Second, the U.S. Senate conducts a formal, legislative trial of the president, based on the articles of impeachment received from the U.S. House of Representatives. Only the U.S. Senate can remove a president from office as a direct result of the final verdict in this trial, and it takes the votes of 67 or more U.S. Senators to do it.
You would not believe—would not believe—how many Americans think impeachment alone (Part 1 of the two-part process) directly and immediately removes the president from office. Therefore, just a couple of days before Christmas Eve, when the U.S. House of Representatives finally votes in favor of impeachment, many millions of ignorant Americans will believe earnestly that President Donald J. Trump has just been removed from office. In the few seconds following that vote, they will believe Donnie and Melania are at the White House waiting for the Atlas Moving Van to pull up and begin moving the Trump belongings out of the White House. Those millions of people who are Trump supporters will feel incredibly angry, and street violence is a very real possibility—so sorry to say. If it comes, it will be violence seated in ignorance about what has actually occurred. Unfortunately, after human feelings go physical, knowledge of the truth rarely matters. The only thing that matters to a mob is the enraged physicality of the moment.
Between today and Christmas Day 2019, impeachment will dominate the daily news. It will be the dominant subject of casual conversation in your large city, small town, or rural area. In the couple of days right before Christmas Day, the U.S. House of Representatives shall indeed impeach President Donald J. Trump. It is definitely going to happen. Just to reiterate, huge numbers of people who rarely watch a TV newscast, rarely read a newspaper, or rarely use a PC will be fever-pitch angry because they believe impeachment alone removes the president from office.
Now is the time to prepare yourself and your family members for the holiday impeachment hysteria, and possible violence, that could come with this huge public ignorance about impeachment. For example, your right-wing, extremist, nutjob Uncle Fred is going to be angry as a wet tabby cat on Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, and New Year’s Day. Why? I will tell you why in East Tennessee common man terms:
Weezuns luvs the Donald almost as much as weezuns luvs Jesus and loff hitseff. Heezuns izz “The Anointed One of the Lord.” Heezuns izz a promised me and yer Maw an everlastin’ home in the earthly Promised Land of a good job, plenny of munny, and stomped-on liberals. Iffin the Donald goez down, me, your Maw, and ever thang weezuns izz ever yearned for or bleeved in loff, even Jesus his own seff, will be flushed forever down the outhouse hole, and wezzuns’ll be left with nothin’ but agony, emptiniss, and hope-liss-niss. Oh, woe izz us!!!
If you possess any negative item about President Trump, such as an anti-Trump bumper sticker on your car or truck, I would kindly suggest that you remove it or cover it up during this holiday season. Otherwise, right-wing, extremist nutjobs may go after your auto paint with a key dug in and dragged eight feet down the side of your vehicle. Windshields may be broken out on the sly. Tires may be be slashed. Tailpipes may be plugged. Unlocked gasoline ports may be filled with sugar. Rotten eggs may smash into cars.
Arguments and fights may break out at holiday parties and family gatherings—not like the ruffled feathers and shouting matches of the past three years—but rather—fights that come to fists and throwing things at people. Firearms and knives are not out of the question. Be prepared ahead of time for the worst or make plans not to invite certain belligerent Trumpites to your gatherings. Only you know who those people are among your family members, friends, and associates.
If you are out Christmas shopping and pause for lunch or dinner in a fast food place or an elegant restaurant, you would do well to avoid talking about President Trump and impeachment. The person in the next booth over or at that table on your right may be angry and in a fighting mood. He may be armed and on his last gasp of sanity in the depths of his Trump impeachment grief.
Be watchful and mindful with respect to your everyday surroundings. As previously noted, most terrorism——-by far——in the United States is committed by white, right-wing, extremist nutjobs—many of whom just happen to love President Trump and the skin color white more than life itself. Be very careful and report to the FBI, your local police, or county sheriff any person or thing that looks suspicious or is behaving strangely. The life you save may be your own and the lives of your family members.
Finally, in my honest personal opinion, the following graphic item is not out of the question from any rabid Trump supporter this holiday season:
“Want a Piece of Fruitcake? No——–I am a Fruitcake!!!”