A Super-Mighty Pre-Emptive Strike

Kim Jong Un

According to FOX News, North Korean state media threatened to launch a “super-mighty pre-emptive strike” that would reduce South Korea and the United States “to ashes.”

Wait!!!  This just in from FFCF News:

American barbers are threatening a Super-Super-Super-Mighty Pre-Emptive Strike on that stupid-looking black thing on top of Kim Jong-Un’s head.  Riley Pfelter, a local barber in Bug Tussle, Tennessee, had this to say:

Yep!!  Me and the boys have our scissors and clippers ready to go on a minute’s notice.  We gonna parachute down on that black rug by the thousands, clip and buzz it to pieces, and use rusty razors to eradicate the rest of it.  We figure it’s kinda like that old movie Night of the Living Dead.  You remember that rule of thumb they had.  We have our own: “Kill the mop and you kill the Un. To kill the Un, you kill the mop.”

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