A Fundie Paradox: You’ins Is a Man Now!!!!

by Charles S. Garabedian

“My life has always been a lonely one.” A close friend of mine who is a clinical psychologist (Ph.D.) once told me that he was not at all surprised at that statement.  (This guy knows me inside out.)  He went on to say that I would always feel alone in this life, even in a crowd of nice people or while chatting in a living room among 10 friendly people.

I asked: “Why?”

He said:

You have been given a rare gift to see things and understand things in life that nearly everyone else is unable to see and unable to understand.  The things you see and understand will be true. You might be able to explain what you see and understand to others, but it will only rarely register as truth with just one or two people—most people will miss it entirely or fail to understand it. Others will think you are crazy.  Some will even be offended by it. Some will hate you for it. Socially, having your rare level of insight can be terribly isolating for a person in a society like ours.

Here is a good example:

Christian fundamentalists and conservative evangelicals are thoroughly committed to the notion that the Holy Bible establishes written-in-stone gender characteristics for males and females within the context of human society and culture. They are seen as strict lines drawn in the sand by the hand of God, and they must not be crossed.

In particular, God created women to be the following: sexual temptresses; married to husbands; dependent; submissive to husband authority; excellent house cleaners; home-bound; barefoot and pregnant; mothers of children; excellent cooks; physically weak; highly susceptible to temptation (far more so than men); in need of life-long protection, enslaved by hormones; incapable of leading men; intellectually inferior to men; in need of life-long financial support; sugar, spice, and everything nice; unable to live without her male complement; craving love, acceptance, and security; and inadequately constructed to work outside the home (except rarely as a nurse or school teacher.)  The true list is really much longer than this.

But have you ever noticed how this so-called Bible-established, God-approved gender view of the human female changes among “God’s Fundie People” here on Earth when the word m-o-n-e-y intervenes—as it sometimes does in a woman’s life—where she finds herself alone, painted into a financial corner by her own actions, or hemmed in by unfortunate life circumstances beyond her control? It goes something like this in the American South where I grew up:

Naw woman!!!!   Yore broke!!!  You’ ins ain’t married.  You’ ins is a MAN now in our eyes!!! Now you get your sorry butt out there into society all alone. Get a good education. Find a good job. Support your damned self like everyone else does (meaning like all us other males). Ain’t nobody got no responsibility for yore sorry hide but yourself.  There ain’t no way you gonna be a drag on my male wallet. This is your just reward for not having a husband.

Ah yes. God is God. His words are written in stone. All women are sweet, delicate little flowers—weak waifs in desperate need of the male hand according to immutable lines that God’s Holy hand has drawn in the sand with regard to the female gender (according to the strict fundie viewpoint), except when the greater fundie god known as money intervenes here on Earth to cancel out all of these Christian fundamentalist and conservative evangelical bullshit notions about the female gender. Just remember older single gals. If you are not married:

You ‘ins is a man now!!!!


Footnote: The oddball term “you’ ins” is East Tennessee mountain lingo, which translates  into conventional English as “you ones.”  It is the mountain man’s equivalent of the plantation southern term “y’all.”

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